


getragen von der Hoffnung niemals anzukommen

by prefertheconsultingdetective



Category: The Hobbit RPF
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Richard is a sweetheart, and lee is too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-06
Updated: 2015-05-06
Packaged: 2018-03-29 09:06:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3890539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prefertheconsultingdetective/pseuds/prefertheconsultingdetective
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Richard has boxes in his mind he tries to stay away from. They're filled with hopes and dreams and he keeps them shut and out of reach. Until New Zealand makes him open one and one turn deserves another.</p>
            </blockquote>





	getragen von der Hoffnung niemals anzukommen

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be quick and fluffy, 200 words max, but now its 1 am again and I got carried away. I’m terrible at titles and this one is from a german song, because who said that titles always have to be in poetic languages like French or English. It means: carried by the hope of never arriving. The song is called 'formlos und frei' which means shapeless and free :)  
> This is part of http://prefertheconsultingdetective.tumblr.com/post/118306357920/hey-guys-id-really-like-to-do-thiiiiis-so-if-you and a lovely anon prompting nr 32.  
> I'll try to do the others tomorrow :) thank you to everyone who has written me.
> 
> This is not beta-ed. Again, because I'm horribly impatient.

Richard came to New Zealand thinking of work and dedication. 

Tolkien had always been a big thing for him, one that he had put away a long time ago, shoved into a big box in the back of his mind. Along with the chance of ever doing Richard the third. 

He tried not to think about it too much and somehow it worked until he got the call of Peter saying that he likes what Richard did with Thorin and that he’d love to work with him. 

It makes the box snap open and now Richard is looking inside it and he sees all the dreams and hopes he put away so carefully. 

He tells Peter that he is onboard, but still - even when he’s on the plane to Wellington he does not dare to reach out and grab it. It is as if he doesn’t quite believe in it. The cover of the box might snap shut and break his fingers. 

 

It takes him weeks and he feels even worse about being such a child about it, but when he slips into Thorin’s mind there’s a small voice that tells him he’s not good enough. 

 

In the end it’s Lee who’s saving him and that opens up another box entirely. 

 

Richard had known relatively quickly that he does like both men and women, with a slight preference for men and after actually trying both he had been even more sure, but after working on “Spooks” he had also known what wanting to be successful in the game meant for his dating life. And then there had been Anna and everything had seemed easy for some time and he had rules not to think about cocks and beards and broad chests, deep voices and demanding hands against his skin. His mind staying neatly composed with nothing out of order. 

But now Anna is long gone and Lee is like the sun coming up after decades of clouds. It’s like drinking when you haven’t even realized that you’re thirsty. 

 

He stops at Richard’s trailer even when he’s been filming all day and he looks so obviously exhausted, but he’s smiling at Richard anyway, filling both the silence in the tiny room and the darkness in his heart so effortlessly that it takes Richard a long time to realize what has happened. 

 

One day after 10 hours of filming in the pool for the barrel scene Richard feels physically and psychically so exhausted that he’s on the edge of tears, all bottled up with the fear of the deep water and the anger at himself for not getting over childhood nightmares. 

He desperately wants to go home, take a hot shower for hours, crawl into bed, put the blanket over his head and shut out the world, but he’s been coming to the studio with Aidan this morning and Richard knows he’s already gone by now, because getting out of make up and costume takes him nearly one hour less than everyone else. 

He decides that his trailer will do and he drags himself miserably forward, when a hand rest lightly on his shoulder. 

“I can take you home” Lee says quietly. 

 

They drive in silence and Richard thinks about Lee being at the studio even when he has had a day off, he think about the fact that he has told Lee about his fears and that he had texted him this morning, mentioning Aidan’s driving skills.

And when he gets out of the car, unlocks the door and turns around to wave goodbye to Lee, Lee is already there behind him and he puts his one hand against the door behind them and shoves Richard gently inside with the other and somehow everything falls into place inside of Richard’s head and if he wouldn’t be so exhausted he would feel terribly humiliated, but instead he just flings his arms around Lee’s neck and starts to cry. 

And Lee hugs him tightly and his hand trails soothingly over Richard’s back. 

It’s incredibly pitiful, but Richard can’t bring himself to care and when his tears have dried and Lee’s shirt is wet he whispers “I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.”

He holds his breath and waits for rejection and disgust, but instead Lee whispers back “I know, don’t be afraid” and “I have you” and slides their lips together. 

The kiss is salty and wet, but Richard feels a little lighter, freed from a heavy wooden box that sat quietly at the back of his mind.


End file.
